Lies Detected
by Fluffy Asian Panda
Summary: America got a spiffy new lie detector! Is he going to use it? Well, yeah, duh! Who's he going to use it on? England, of course! Rated T because I'm paranoid. One-shot. USUK


**Disclaimer: Fluffy Asian Panda does not own the wonderful piece of beautifulness that is Hetalia: Axis Powers. But she would like to own a plush Flying Mint Bunny.**

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"…Bloody America, making me fly to his flat in bloody four in the morning…" England muttered, stomping onto the porch of the massive house America owned. It was practically a mansion! And yet, America insists it's a house. Stupid American.

England approached the door, but before he could knock, America slammed the door open and practically pulled him in.

"Get in here!" (Not really, but if anyone figures out where that was from, I will love you forever)

What America actually said was "Oh, hi Iggy! You gotta see this new lie detector thingy I got from Tony!"

"Wha- Lie detector?" England spluttered, but it was too late. America was already dragging a kicking and protesting Englishman into the living room, in which a strange chair of sorts was stationed in the center. Later, when England wasn't frantically trying to get away from America's death grip, he would realize that the living room was decorated quite nicely.

In the living room, there was a warm fireplace, but there wasn't a fire lit, as it was still the middle of August. There also was a comfortable couch right in front of the fireplace. It was close enough to the hearth so you could feel the warmth as you sat in the couch, but far enough so you didn't feel uncomfortably hot. The room also seemed to be cleaned up as well, so it wasn't littered with hamburger wrappers and comic books as it usually was whenever England visited the American's house. A desk was in the corner, papers sloppily decorating it. If you looked up close, you could see that they were sketches of heroes, and England had to admit. America was actually really talented at drawing. Not like he would actually say that to his face, though.

Once the duo reached the chair, America announced, "And this is my totally awesome, completely foolproof, alien made lie detector! Ya like it, Iggy?" Too busy describing the chair, America didn't notice that England had slipped out of his hold. England straightened out his clothing, for they had gotten wrinkled in the manhandling, and was prepared to march right out the door, if it not for the fact that America was grabbing England again. "Hey, you didn't look at everything!"

"America," England snapped. "You woke me up at four in the morning, whining for me to come to your house, even though we have a world meeting today, and you want to show me a lie detector?! Do you know if it even works?!"

"Yeah! I mean, not really, but I wanted you to be the first person to try it out!" America said, pulling out his weapon that caused many people to fall at his knees. The weapon that many fear, for it has caused mass destruction. The weapon known as the dreadful… kicked puppy face.

His sky blue eyes glazed over, tears forming at the corners, threatening to overflow. His lips quirked into an adorable pout, both of them trembling and quivering. He started sniffling, and soon, it was too much for England. Resisting the adorableness required a massive amount of willpower, and England hadn't really found the secret to that yet. Especially when it came to the look. So, England glanced away, sighing in defeat, and mumbled, "Fine. I shall try out this 'lie detector' of yours."

America cheered, the kicked puppy look immediately disappearing, and wrapping England into a bear hug. "Ack! Too… tight!" England wheezed, gasping for air.

"Oops! Sorry, England," America apologized sheepishly, letting the Briton go. England began gulping in the precious oxygen, chest heaving painfully.

"Warn me before you hug me again," England panted between breaths.

"Okay! Iggy, I'm gonna hug you!" America yelled before enveloping England into another hug, thankfully, not as tight as the first bear hug. When America finally let go, England was ready to run out the door and never look back. Sadly, he was a gentleman, and gentlemen don't go back on their words.

"Okay! What were we doing again?" America asked. He seemed to remember, though, and snapped his fingers. "Oh yeah, lie detector! Follow me, Iggy!" England hesitantly followed the boisterous American to the strange contraption, sighing at his horrible luck of having to deal with said American.

"Right, so just sit in the chair, and I'll hook ya up!" America explained, gesturing to the "chair." England reluctantly sat in the bizarre piece of furniture, and America proceeded to press buttons, adjust levers and armrests, locking England in the chair, and turn up the volume…?

"Okay, so we're going to have three rounds of three questions. Each round will have increasingly personal questions. So, before we start, I want to ask you if you're comfortable with this. I don't want to do anything you don't want to do," America explained, sincerity showing in his cerulean eyes. England was touched by this action, and he had a newfound respect for the American. England nodded briefly, and America smiled brightly at this, a true smile on display in his childish features.

"Okay, round one. What's your name?"

"England." Right after he finished, a speaker on the chair (How did he not notice that earlier?) thundered

_TRUTH._

America seemed to accept the word, and proceeded joyfully to the next question. "What's my name?"

England decided to play around with it, and replied, smirking, with, "The United States of Idiotic Twats." Then, the speaker boomed

_LIE._

"Hey!" America pouted, "That's not nice!" And here England was, hoping it would say truth. He rolled his eyes, and said the correct answer, "Your name is America."

_TRUTH._

"All right, last question for round one. How old are you?" America asked, actually curious since the Englishman never indulged America into letting him know how old he was. England seemed to ponder for a while, before replying. "I don't really celebrate my birthday, unlike a certain American, so I don't keep track of how old I am, but if I had to guess, I am about a thousand years old."

_TRUTH._

"Aw, you don't celebrate your birthday? You really are a grumpy old man!" America snickered.

"Take that back right now, you insufferable git!" England roared back, but to his displeasure, the speaker bellowed

_LIE._

"Oh, so I'm not an 'insufferable git,' huh?" America grinned.

England spluttered, "O-of course you are!" Then the speaker cut in, booming

_LIE._

"So, what am I then? If I'm not an 'insufferable git'?" America questioned, still sporting a wide grin, and putting up air quotes.

"I hate you so much right now," England mumbled, turning his face away to hide his red cheeks. But, alas, fate really hates him too, for the lie detector also picked that murmur up, and belted out

_LIE._

England swore that he could hear a grin not unlike one of France before he was about to, ahem, get all up in someone's space/pants just from his mischievous tone. "So… if you don't hate me…" America trailed off, encouraging England to finish his sentence.

England muttered something, and America said "England, could you say that one more time? Please?"

"…Fine. You win," England sighed in defeat.

America feigned innocence and pressed, "What did I win?"

"… I don't hate you," England whispered, his face still turned away as he refused to look at the American.

"So you…"

"Fine! I like, fancy, have a crush on, whatever, you! Now let me out of this chair!" England shouted, staring America right in the face challengingly. Then, he realized his wording and then promptly turned red, his face so bright that it put Spain's beloved tomatoes to shame.

_TRUTH._

England turned his face away, moaning "I really do hate you…"

_LIE._

But, then England heard a giggle. Yes, a giggle. He swiveled his head to find the source and saw America snickering. "W-what's so funny?" England inquired, utterly confused.

"T-that was s-so cute!" America replied, his sentence sprinkled with bubbling and barely contained laughter. Then, he just burst out laughing.

"Y-you… you… stupid American!" England yelled, his face so red that it probably broke the world record for reddest face ever.

_LIE._

America's laughs died down, after a couple of minutes or so, but to England, those couple of minutes felt like an eternity.

"Let me out of this blasted chair right now, America!" England shouted, wanting to leap off the chair and strangle the aggravating American.

"All right, all right," America replied, still snickering. Soon though, he did let England out of the lie detector chair. England started to try to hit America, but it seemed like he just blocked each and every strike, laughing all the while.

With every blow, England shouted "Stupid America!" hoping that he would get in a good hit, hopefully knocking the American out and erasing all of his memory of the events that occurred. Then again, the chances of that happening are next to zero, unless America's drunk, but then he would pass out from the alcohol consumption. Eventually, though, England stopped trying to knock out the American.

"England, I need to tell you something," America said, all amusement gone and seriousness settling in.

England could only reply, "What is it?" from the intensity of the nation's gaze.

America sat in the chair, and said, "You see… I kinda… actually… like you too." America sheepishly turned his head away, a light blush dusted on his cheeks. But, England didn't need the speaker calling out _TRUTH_ to know that America was telling the absolute and complete truth. America stood up, and asked, "Can I ask you one more question?"

"Yes."

America swallowed and asked, "What… is your human name?" A nation's human name is something that they only tell to people they would trust them with their life with, as names have much power, and America was basically asking England to put his complete trust in him.

But, America just looked so hopeful, and England knew that America would just be heartbroken if he refused, just as he was during the American Revolution.

Taking a deep breath, England said, "…Arthur Kirkland. My human name is Arthur Kirkland." America broke into a large grin, picked England up, and started spinning him in the air, laughing all the while.

"L-let me down, y-you wanker!" England managed to yell, though he wasn't really angry. When America did stop, and let the Englishman down, he pressed their foreheads together and stared into dazzling emeralds.

"Alfred." England heard a name, but he wasn't sure why America was saying some random human's name.

"Pardon?"

"Alfred F Jones. That's my name!" America proclaimed, breaking away from England's gaze and thumping his chest in pride.

"S-so, you-" England stuttered.

"Yep! I just told you my human name," America confirmed. "I trust you." A warm smile that made England's heart flutter was directed at him.

"Didn't I tell you I really like you?" The larger nation said, more of a statement rather than a question. England spluttered and answered with a cuff on the head.

America just laughed.

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France turned off his live video screen, took off his headphones-which messed up his beautiful hairdo, mind you-and slipped a remote with two solitary buttons on it, labeled lie and truth, into his pocket, proud of his plan that had worked without a hitch.

Even if he had to dress up as that strange alien friend of America's.

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AN:

Yeah, so this is a fic that's more like "Hey guys! I'm not dead! Yay! But I probably won't update for another 5000 years because of school, procrastination, etc! How cool is that!"

Hope you liked the fanfic!


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